Sick and Tired
by Kain Lorhem
Summary: Takeru wonders why he's in New York, and tries his hand at writing. Takes place during the third segment of the Digimon movie. Yaoi (shounen-ai) alert. Daikeru (aka Takedai). (Kit plays hunt the typo... please bear with my obsessive nature ^_^)


Sick and Tired

Sick and Tired

Disclaimer: They're not mine, unfortunately, so don't sue. 

Author's Notes: Ah... I finally saw the movie, and I had to write this. Japanese names are used, but occasionally I'll use the dub names as a nick name (aka Takeru and TK). Takes place throughout the last segment of the movie, so kinda spoilerish for the last part of the Digimon movie. 

Oh right, I have to warn people, this is Shounen-ai (Yaoi), or in the west, slash! Daikeru or Takedai (Daisuke/Takeru), what ever floats your boat.

Italics are thoughts or emphasis.

Feedback is much appreciated in the form of a review ^_^

***

It made him sick some times, the way she went on about him. A wrenching pain would just hit him in the chest, and he'd just stop what he was doing, and try to breathe through it, which of course made it worse.

He was heartsick, and tired, and lonely and he didn't know what he was doing in New York. The young boy didn't even know why he bothered to look like he was listening to her anymore.

She blathered on about _him_, how _he's_ so overbearing, how _he_ had such a big ego, and how _he_ this and how _ he_ that. She talked about him so much that you'd think she really liked him.

_She does, and you know it. You just don't want to admit it to yourself._

The blond boy sighed, and walked along the sidewalk with her back to their hotel.

_She's just using you._

Takeru Takaishi knew that Hikari wanted him there for the sole purpose of making Daisuke jealous. She had tried to disguise the reason for their trip, "Oh, it's been so long since we've seen Mimi!", but he knew.

_So why did you come?_

Hikari -- always the consummate tease, seemingly never quite ready to commit to a boyfriend, she jerked both chosen children around with near impunity. Daisuke was clearly interested in her, but Takeru... he went along with her games for his own reasons.

_Ah, so you do this so that Daisuke can never get her, even though you don't want her._

They had reached the entrance of the hotel, and like a gentlemen, he held the door open for her. The two rode up the elevator to their floor in silence, with only their thoughts for company.

_Is it that you feel possessive of her? Or is it something else?_

The keycards slid into their locks as the two children entered rooms on opposite sides of the hall. The Yagami had insisted on separate rooms for the two.

"Don't forget, Mimi is coming to pick us up for dinner in a couple of hours."

Takeru mumbled a sound of agreement, and after bolting the door, fell to the bed. He curled up his knees and laid there looking out the window. It was all coming to an end. The boy knew that this was Hikari's last ditch effort to jerk them around just one bit more before finally choosing. They would go home... and she would pick _him_. And his one, tiny, insignificant chance would be snuffed out.

_Like you even have a chance now?_ The voice was getting insistent.

And at that thought, the pain was so overwhelming, all he could do was lie there, and pray that it went away. A long while passed, measured only by the plodding tick of the clock in the room, before it subsided.

_But your time is limited, you shouldn't waste it._

He sighed as he knew it to be true. The bed creaked as the boy reached around to the other side of it, and pulled out a laptop from a bag. He waited as the computer slowly booted up. Better get writing.

It was the one thing that perhaps kept him from just breaking down. He wrote stories. Night after night he would be hunched over the laptop with its dim display, and peck out stories about him and Daisuke. It would be the closest he'd ever get.

_Pathetic. You write little pieces of fiction about him and you falling in love. Stolen moments here and there._ _It's the closest you're ever going to get to him._

Sometimes it would just be a vignette, a simple smile here, or a night spent holding each other. Takeru gave a melancholy sigh. Maybe he'd be able to look back years and years from now and pretend that they really happened. That he wrote them bursting with an afterglow, instead wanting a phantom image.

He didn't realize he was sobbing until the tears hit the back of his fingers and blurred his vision so bad he couldn't type anymore. He gave a strangled chuckle. What if Daisuke discovered he was writing these stories? Would he yell at Takeru in disgust for doing these things to a fictitious image of him? Or would he just hit him and never speak to him again?

But he had to hold on to his hope, right up to the bitter end. To the last second of the last hour of the last day of the last month before she and _him_ get together. He would hold on to it in the hopes that perhaps, _just perhaps_ -- lightning could strike.

Takeru had given much thought to what would happen would he finally lost his last thread of hope. Would his crest shatter into a million pieces? Or would it simply break in half, never to be put back together again? He sniffled and tried to compose himself.

"TK, are you ready? Mimi's already on her way." He could hear the disembodied voice from outside his own door. Takeru glanced at the clock, and was amazed to see that indeed several hours had passed.

"I'll just be a minute Kari!" He shut down the laptop and outwardly prepared himself, before going outside and joining Kari for the ride down to the lobby.

_Enjoy it while you can._

***

Things were coming to a turning point.

The tapping of keys was all that TK could hear as he sat in the Amtrak train blazing its way across the American country side. He was typing with an almost fanatical purpose, knowing that his time was almost at an end. The complications with the American digidestined had forced them to contact the rest of the children back in Japan and they were to meet in Colorado.

He could sense her excitement from across the row. Years of knowing her had allowed him to read her almost every emotion. He knew that she thought how romantic it would be to say that you started your relationship with each other in a foreign country. To spend a week in a land with no responsibilities. Hell, he thought himself that the notion was romantic.

Takeru sighed softly as he continued typing. The clack, clack, clack, of keys were leading him somewhere. He was writing his way towards a fatalistic happy ending, where perhaps his literary alter-ego could live happily ever after with a literary Daisuke. He typed as fast as he could, knowing, _knowing_, that he needed his tiny spark of hope to have any hope of writing.

The muse was a fickle creature, and the Ishida boy knew that when it was snuffed; that when he saw his prince and his friend fall into each other's arms in a flower dappled field, it would all be over. 

And in that moment he had closed his eyes, and imagined himself in that position. His dear prince, his hero, reaching out to him in a flower filled field, as he leaned forward. They fell into each others arms, grasping one another, as they fell into the fragrant flowerbed. The daydream was powerful enough to allow him to smell the boyish scent of Daisuke mixed with the aromatic smell of the field.

Poof! It was gone as the train jolted him. The lovesick boy resumed his writing, where perhaps they could enjoy the warm comfort of each other's arms for the rest of eternity.

***

Moonlight shone through the single paned window of the vacation home. Takeru lay in his bed, starting at the bed opposite his, where Daisuke Motomiya lay, sleeping the sleep of the just. The soft sound of his breathing both comforted and agonized the blond. It was a quirk of fate that gave Daisuke and Takeru the same room.

The danger was averted, and the second digidestined team, plus Wallace of course, had successfully vanquished their foe. Little wonder Takeru still did not feel any better.

He never did get to finish his story. Both their alter-egos were trapped in a suspended state, with no happy ending to speak of. After the battle, as he saw the two, _him_ and her, spin around the field in barely restrained glee, he knew that the Muse had left him; his flame of hope extinguished by the storm.

Daisuke shifted in his sleep, and the two boys ended up face to face. Takeru gazed upon his features, completely devoid of worry or any care about the world, and he turned away, unable to stare at something so beautiful, yet be forever out of his reach.

On a night such as that one, when a storm raged and he was feeling depressed his first thought was to turn to his brother. But here he was, half way across the world from his bro, and he shuddered to think of the bill if he used his cellular out here, so Takeru was left to his own devices.

Overcoming a moment of hesitation, he got up from the bed and walked slowly up to Daisuke's bed. Takeru's pale hand grazed the tips of Daisuke's spiky, but soft hair.

"I... I... hope she makes you happy." As he murmured the resigned words a pain spread throughout his rib cage, "I just want you to be happy."

Takeru walked towards the door, and with one lingering glance to Daisuke, he left.

He stepped outside the home, and stood on its awning, staring out into the rain soaked fields that surrounded the country home. The storm was raging around him, and a peal of thunder took Takeru by surprise. In a flash, Daisuke seemed to appear right beside him.

The two boys shared a long moment of silence before Daisuke spoke first, "We've been really stupid haven't we?"

Takeru felt a moment of immense surprise before he turned to look at the burgundy haired boy, and he saw something reflected in his eyes that he thought he'd never see. "Ah... yeah, we have been."

The two slowly moved closer to each other until their faces were only inches apart. Daisuke gave Takeru a smirk and the two boys kissed each other. A feeling of belonging flashed between the two. They slowly finished their kiss and sat down on the porch of the house, Takeru's head pillowed on Daisuke's shoulder, and they watched the storm play itself out. 

Takeru could smell Daisuke's scent mixed with the scent of the flowers, and he smiled. 

So perhaps there was a happy ending after all.


End file.
